JUNE 7, 1996

COMMUNITY FORUM

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 9

Continued from facing page

ation that is given to us and others in the industry by lesbians. Here is our dilemma: The majority of lesbians do not understand the importance of tipping.

The way that this business works is that we make the majority of our living through tips alone. In translation, we make $2.13 each hour plus tips. It is customary to receive at least 15 percent gratuity for food and a minimum of one dollar for each drink order.

Much to our horror (and depleted bank accounts) our sistas have not picked up the clue phone and figured this out. It has been our experience, time and time again, that lesbians will throw us a mere pittance of pocket change, if they do choose to tip at all. We are not asking that a kidney be donated, it's just that we would like to be able to pay rent on our pathetic hovels.

Now, believe us, we understand that, in comparison to men, women make less money. However, if dykes can afford to get drunk, dykes can afford to tip.

If you are one of these sistas who do not tip, please keep the following things in mind: First, if you have a reputation for not tipping, well, we all know who you are, and your service is going to suck.

Second, great tippers get stronger drinks and a bigger piece of pie.

Third, if a server seems distracted or even short with you, you can bet that the schmoe in front of you just left a rip-off tip.

Fourth, a note with your telephone number does not constitute a tip.

And for all of our queer brothers and sisters out there, the next time you are out and having a good time at a food joint or bar, stop your self-indulgance for a moment and think about your server or bartender. Watch how hard they are working, contemplate their inhibited social lives because they are working when everyone else gets to play, notice how many absolute idiots they must deal with-and make a decision not to be one of them. Show your appreciation and support for your gay, lesbian or bisexual server/ bartender by tipping with respect.

Names withheld by request Columbus

We pay for it

The following was sent to U.S. Rep. Martin Hoke, R-10, of Fairview Park: Dear Rep. Hoke:

I have a request which involves no money and little effort. Before endorsing that House

Let's face it. Cleaning isn't something you want to

deal with.

216/356-8755

legislation against same sex marriages, please say to yourself a few times these four simple words: they pay for it.

The issue before us is that a lobbyist, Lou Sheldon, and some legislators are trying to deny a group of taxpayers access to a public facility which they pay to support. It is unlikely that there will be any legislation to keep gay citizens from paying taxes, so why should there be any legislation to deny these taxpayers access to what their taxes support?

Here are two questions for you to say to yourself and to repeat in conversations with others: "How many adult homosexuals do you know who are not taxpayers?" and, "What other taxpayers get back in services a smaller portion of what they pay out to various governments?" You present yourself as a champion of taxpayers' rights, so it would not be out of order for you to show some respect for the rights of these taxpayers.

What is being debated now legally is not marriage in general, but only civil marriage in particular. Keeping civil marriage separate from religious marriage in the eyes of the law is a principle of justice introduced by the Puritan settlers in New England. The issue here is the right of two legally competent adults to enter into private secular legal contract for their perceived mutual benefit. The right to enter into legal contracts in general and the right to enter into those legal contracts known as civil marriages are not "special rights," for any legally competent adult citizens. They are the common, ordinary means by which people in our society function as complete citizens, and as complete human beings.

Disabling citizens from participating in society by keeping them from their rights is a combination of trespassing and theft. Lou Sheldon and those helping him deserve the same treatment I would give to burglers I found breaking into my home. (For some ideas about what this treatment might include, consult some of your supporters who are opposed to the banning of assault weapons.)

When you are drawn into discussions of "basic values," please keep in mind that basic values of our culture are expressed by acknowledging payment and ownership and by avoiding the use of personal dislike as an excuse for robbing people.

Helping to rob other people of their rights does not usually leave the accomplices with much of anything to show for their efforts. If you find yourself with an irresistable urge to rob people, you would do better for yourself the company of pickpockets and muggers than in the company of people like Lou

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Sheldon. As things to end up with at the end of one's day, wallets and purses are a lot more tangible than empty phrases.

Robert Woodward Lakewood

Married by any name

To the Editors:

It's May 19, a lazy Sunday morning, and already 80 degrees with a gentle breeze from the south. All in all a good day to work in the yard cleaning up from the long winter and very wet spring. This could be the start of any day in a household across this great country.

Snowball, our all-white cat and daughter number one, lies asleep near my feet. Sofie, the Siberian husky which is also four years old and daughter number two, lies in the upstairs hallway, protecting the entrance to the front bedroom. And in that bedroom sleeps Bob, the fourth, and to me the most important, member of our household. There he sleeps after arriving home earlier from working his second job, as most Americans have to do to make ends meet.

Much has been said in the media this recent week about Hawaii's proposal for same-sex marriages. Even the Congress feels compelled to get involved, fearing the breakdown of the "family." Lastly, our president, who states he's for gay equality, has come out against same-sex marriages.

No matter what we deem to call it, a partnership or union, a companionship or even marriage, it comes down to the fact that Bob and I have a household. So here we have two men; a cat and a dog; thirty-eight different birds; rabbits and chipmunks; squirrels and raccoons; a century-old house to restore; a half acre of land to plant, mow and trim, and all that goes with it for survival and putting quality in our lives, just as do our neighbors in the houses around us and the condos across the street.

Two men paying taxes, and as single people

we bear more of a burden than our married counterparts; paying our millage for schools and education, for roads and community projects but our seven-year-old companionship has no legal rights when it comes to inheritance benefits, insurance claims both household and personal and even hospital visitation rights could be denied.

We can not enjoy the benefits of our society that I defended with four years of military service during the Vietnam conflict, earning an honorable discharge.

I'm not worried about the semantics of the words like "same-sex marriage" or "union" but the principle that a definition of family, and the benefits giving, come down to procreation, for many men and women who enter "marriage" opt not to have children, yet they have all the rights and privileges that support their existence.

It fascinates me that even two people going into business together as partners have more legal protection than a gay relationship. Maybe that's one of the answers. Form a partnership or corporation for the doing business of survival and living, for the Bard of Avon stated, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." So be it marriage, union, partnership or companionship, remember Bob, Tristan, Snowball and Sofie are a family just the same. Tristan-Paul J. Hand Northfield

Community Forum

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